Friday, March 30, 2007

Chewy's Last Stand

It's the night before the "big game" and it's pretty tense in this house. I can't stand it when these two act like this. I always get caught in the middle.

I just went into the other room to start barking at the neighbors to occupy myself. I think the neighbor teens next door are having a party. It'll help pass the time before the girl nods off (two brains? it looks like one head to me) and the eventual time when the boy will pass out (what is in that bottle he keeps drinking??). It's just another Friday night in the Paar household.

What I don't get is why the boy is always worried about losing to the girl. If he just would have picked the Hoyas, he'd be in great shape right now. That's how we dogs roll. The girl uses about as much scientific methodology in her picks as a cat does hitting that damn ball of twine (yes, dogs have a vocabulary, it's just not oral). Dogs rule the world anyway. Name one other species that can live the life we live without pulling down a paycheck (and don't you dare mention the "c" word).

At least the boy made it this far. Last year, the girl waxed him during the second weekend. That was a good one. I would have laughed but I was too afraid he would kick me. Not that he could catch me (I can't run a marathon but I can move) once I get going but a dog's gotta sleep sometime (actually I would prefer to sleep all the time but a dog's gotta eat too). He thinks this blog is his way to get back at everyone to make up for his bad picks. Mad at the world, I guess. If he would only follow my lead and lay around all day--it does wonders for the stress level.

Although I do understand his competitive side. When that damn rabbit shows up on the back deck, I get pissed. It just sits there acting all innocent like nothing's wrong. Damn it! Something is wrong! That rabbit has no business on MY deck! If the boy would turn his head once...just once...I could get my paws on that rabbit and show it who is boss. The time they put the stuffed rabbit in the yard was REAL funny. Laugh it up people! You have to sleep sometime too!

I need to wrap this up soon. My paws are getting sore and I keep having to backspace because one punch gets me five letters. Plus, the boy is shooting me an evil look since he just noticed I was on his computer. Hey, I'm a lover not a fighter...although those two took care of that "lover" part when they got me. Thanks for nothing (literally). I will give him credit though--I think I see the phrase "Flying Dog" on the side of his bottle. If only.

Let the dogs ride and the cats die! Cut the leash!

Chewy

Friday, March 23, 2007

All Bark...No Bite

The two brains are once again asleep next to me and since I don't have any "comments" to read from previous posts, I guess I should just post again.

This has to be one of the most bizarre NCAA tourneys in history. Not because of the upsets. Not because of the one "special" team that is in the Sweet 16 that has no business being there. More because of the top seeds who have trailed much more and BY much more than they have led and still find a way to pull it out in the end.

Ohio St has done it twice, trailing by Xavier by 9 with 2:54 left and Tennessee by 20 at one point in the first half and by 17 early in the second half, only to come back and win both. Florida trailed Butler until late in the game and played footsie with Jackson State until blowing them out by 40. Kansas....well, Kansas kept Southern Illinois around long enough to give a young 38-year old hope that his +375, $20 bet would come through, only to see ill-advised shots late in the game result in swearing and frustration that resulted in him doing dishes to release the stress and causing him to miss the long near-miss 3-pointer that would have sent the game to OT (and kept the +375 alive).

And as I write this, I'm watching comeback number four from a #1 seed. My national champ, NC (don't get cocky Perry) was down 16 with 18 minutes to play and is now within 1. Knowing my luck, they'll be the one that doesn't finish the deal.

Who can I take shots at? How about Andy Cebulla who has pretty much been AWOL since his amateur improv comedy routine during the ill-fated email barrage at the start of Vegas Donation X? Anyone notice that both his donations are in the bottom 10? What about John Grimm, the defending last place champion who lost three of his final four in the first two rounds? I'd pick on Chewy for picking Butler but they almost won.

Speaking of Chewy...no one won the Chewy contest. The three things and why...

1). He didn't pick the winner of the Villanova/Kentucky game because both are Wildcats and he hates cats so much, he refused to pick a winner.
2). He didn't pick a final score for the tiebreaker because he's a dog and dog's are not good with numbers.
3). He hates birds so he picked against all birds unless they were playing a cat, in which case, the cat lost.

Trust me folks...the above was not that hard. Tom Tasto had the first two except he wouldn't tell me why the first two were important.

NC is now up 7. USC is running out of gas. How is that these non-elite teams can not seal the deal. Granted, there's a reason these #1's are ranked this high. But you can't seriously tell me they can't at least play them even?

I look at Raap's board and she's still ahead of me by 1 if Oregon holds on. Her downfall could be Memphis. According to her frequent rambling gibberish on Thursday night (I think the second brain is causing her to speak in tongues), Memphis lost that game 44 different times in the last two minutes. In fact, she would have shut the game off when the Tigers were down by 1 with oh, I don't know, plenty of time left on the clock. Suffice to say, I unfortunately got to see a mini victory dance when she realized they actually ended up winning the game.

This is going to be a painful weekend...I can feel it.

Cheers,
Reg

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Is it Thursday yet?

Another night of the reality sickness that is American Idol and I'm already pleading for Thursday as if I was five years old and Thursday was Christmas Day. Maybe it's the fact that I'm in 36th place. Maybe it's the discomfort of being one point behind Assistant Tournament Director Raap Elleinad. Maybe it's because my mother-in-law actually has a chance to win. Maybe, just, maybe, I still have a hangover from the weekend.

It can't be the blog because this has been a one-man show. God forbid any of you would take a chance and post an opinion or retort. First, you couldn't find it (you know the inter-web is so hard to navigate). Second, it was too hard to post (I have to sign up and then I have to actually write something and then, and then, whine whine whine). It can't be that your illiterate because this thing has spellcheck.

Regardless, I guess I'll just continue the party of one. If you decide to grab a seat, the table is always open.

Interesting facts from the weekend...

1). Duke's basketball budget--$11m. Va Commonwealth's athletic department budget--$8m. Duke made $4m on basketball alone last year. VCU? Lost $1m. Do the Duke boosters feel like they overpaid?

2). The national champ picks amongst the group are pretty split. 27 for Florida, 27 for Ohio St, 14 for Kansas, 13 for NC, 11 for Georgetown.

3). Pac 10 and SEC are tied with 7 wins each and have three teams left. The Big Bad Ten has only participant and six wins along with the Big East who have two left. The Big 12 has two left and five wins. Why do I, who has lambasted you basketball geeks for caring about inane facts and figures during March Madness, care about these facts? I have money on the Pac 10--I like my chances.

4). There's too many damn women at the top! Whitney, Tina, Megan, Suretta, and Rachel split the top 10 between men and women. Don't even think about mentioning Raap. She's got her dance all ready for Friday night if she clinches the family win again this weekend. MEN--we have to do something! Something is terribly wrong. The universe is whacked out right now. Boy Scouts are getting lost. Billy Packer is almost tolerable. I didn't go to Vegas. Kevin McHale was named #1 GM by Forbes. I mean we're talking something of epic proportions here! Dogs and cats, living together--mass hysteria!

I dunno--maybe we need to have a cook off at the same time next year so the women are distracted and forget to make their picks. Or maybe we could get Oprah give a seminar in town on the Thursday and Friday of the tournament so they have something better to do. How about organizing a Pampered Chef party so they can sit around and talk about utensils all night while games are going on?

And for all you women who are disgusted, appalled, repulsed and/or annoyed with my abhorrent behavior in the past few paragraphs, just remember one thing.

I'm just kidding.

Thursday's almost here...for all of us, it'll be much clearer by Friday night (or fuzzier depending on your alcohol intake).

Cheers,
Reg

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Groundhog's Day

With all due respect to Bill Murray and the great movie of the above title, I feel like I'm living the exact same nightmare for the third year in a row. After having built a 6-point cushion in the first round, I have once again succumbed to Raap's voodoo magic and am trailing the family lead by one headed into the Sweet 16. I thought the two brains were a curse--she's obviously feeding off it. This isn't good. If the kid is any good at this thing, I might not even be the second best in the house next year.

Hall of Fame
Scott Stein, Brett Wahl, Tony Tripp and Tom Tasto have all picked a perfect South region so far. My nickname nemesis, Jeff Loendorf, chose to forgo the nickname board this year and rewarded himself with the only perfect West region out of 107 entries.

But Brett Wahl, the Allianz tax geek himself, has cleared the pack by a full five points and has all of his Elite 8 teams still left. In fact, 16 people still have their Elite 8 in tact and 74 still have all Final Four teams left. Young Luke Galvin distinguished himself in the 8-under division by getting 31 of the first 33 games right (including the play-in) no thanks to his dad, Mike. I have met your Dad, and Luke, you are no Mike Galvin (thank God!).

Hall of Shame
First up are the wonderful people who actually thought Wisconsin had a shot at the Final Four. Mike Elbert, Neil Gonzales, Ben Richeson, Chad Shrout, Tim Neis, Sharon Flanagan who had them in the championship game. Special shout out to Brian Brommel who had them winning the whole thing (huh?) and John Grimm, the defending last place champion, who not only had Wisconsin the final four but Indiana and Washington State as well.

Unfortunately, the last place title may already be locked up but I promised the person I would not make fun of them so I'll let the results speak for themselves. Honorable mention goes to whoever thought "Fear the Turtle" was the mantra for this year. Come on, that's so 2002. Four people picked Maryland to the final four, one as a runner-up and two as the national champion.

I saved the best for last. Young Andy Cebulla, who was so vocal during the early trash talk, submitted two boards that currently stand 96th and 103rd, respectively. Even Andy should know that the purpose of submitting two boards is to increase your chances of winning, not to belabor your losses.

More tomorrow night...wanted to get these results out quickly and getting sleepy. Raap's two brains have pummeled me into submission after two rounds. I need to get my rest for the upcoming weekend.

Cheers,
Reg

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Not So Silent Night...

As I begin this blog, the so-called yip dog is at it again. At 11:40pm, he has found something across the street that he feels the need to bark at over and over and over and...well, you get the picture. So he's doing his best Xavier impression as he tries to intimidate whatever the hell is outside my house this late at night.

That's certainly the impression I had watching Xavier today. Yip, yip, yip...looks like they are going to attack...yip, yip, yip...time to bite down on the human arm...yip, yip, yip...one menacing look in their direction in the form of a rally from 8 down with 2:54 left (are you kidding?) and one last second regulation 3-pointer later, the yip dogs disappear.

Florida has to be licking their chops right now. Not only did NC and Ohio St struggle against lesser teams before pulling away, FLA was practically tied late in the first half on Friday and ended up winning by 40. Even so, I smell a UNLV-type upset coming soon--is there a "quack" in Florida's future? Or will Butler be Florida's "yip dog"?

I've had more than one person opine that ol' Willy Packer might have been neutered (Chewy's least favorite word) after his putrid performance during the NCAA selection show over the past few years. I understand he has a right to his opinion but he did nothing for the game of college basketball by pontificating and berating the individuals responsible for choosing the field of 65. Exhibit A: Dickie V. However, now he's swung completely to the other side and he's smooching the behinds of the mid-majors and the selection committe. Willy, some advice. Speak your mind and be professional about it (unlike certain bloggers) and all will be right in the world. Do it right and certain bloggers might be moved to say things like "I don't dislike ol' Willy as much as I used to"--unfortunately, you have a long way to go.

3-5 today but two major parlays saved the day (teaser parlays, thus the reason I had a bad record but still hit the parlays). After a preliminary look at round 1 results, which will be published tomorrow, I think the woman with two brains has finally come back to earth. All of a sudden all is right with the world. The air, a little easier to breathe, beer tastes better, sleep feels more restful, the future is bright.

I finally fixed the blog so anyone can post without opening an account--sorry about that. I didn't even realize I had to change settings. Like I said to start, I never thought I'd be doing one of these so why would I think I had to change setting to let you guys participate? This is not a one man show---it's a democracy (by totalitarian regime). That is, say what you want, but I get final say.

Good games to go on Sunday...

Cheers,
Reg

Free at last, free at last...

Double entendre...

I was finally able to get free from work at 4:30...just in time to watch a halfcourt meaningless 3-pointer destroy about $240 worth of winnings on two teaser parlays. I had two separate bets with Oregon in each and every other team won with the exception of the nuclear bomb delivered via that meaningless 3-pointer. Unfortunately, there is a 30-second delay on the internet versus tv and a "friend" called me 20 seconds before I witness the catastrophe to ask if I was ok. When I questioned him, he repeated the question as I finally witnessed the disgusting sight of the 3 dropping from halfcourt.

Again, brutal.

But the double to the above entendre (the header for those of you nitpicking my vocabulary, Ben) is that I finally nailed a parlay at the end of the day courtesy of USC, SIU, and Kentucky. Couple that with side bets with the gang in front of the 23 inch, non-HD, non-stereo RCA small screen TV and the computer streaming a second game at the same time. Sorry, guys. I'm guessing next year will be much change in the Paar household what with a big screen, flat screen, HD, Plasma tv, in sterero and, uhh, oh yeah, the birth of the second brain that Raap now possesses. That second brain better be good at parlays 'cause I'm dying over here.

10-5-1 today. 19-10-3 for the first round. Two losses of monumental proportions due to last second, meaningless 3-pointers. A few beers, a few curse words, a few meaningless bets.

God, I miss Vegas.

Results will come out tomorrow at some point. Those of you who are waiting--get over it. It'll come. Those of you who could care less--hey, you're catching on.

More games to come...

Cheers,
Reg

Thursday, March 15, 2007

One down...

Not a bad start.

9-5-2 in the first 16 games against the spread but no upsets. I don't even count the Duke game.

Seriously, Duke has been putrid this year and if you watched the game at all, they couldn't hit a free throw (I thought I heard 11 missed free throws). They deserved to lose and I deserved to lose my parlay for even picking them. How many times did the announcers belabor the point that Duke had not lost a first round game "in two centuries" (a direct quote, if you can believe it) and blather on and on about their rich tradition. Well, this year that rich tradition includes a seat on the couch for rounds two through six.

Anyone who has not tried has got to sign up for CBS Sportsline's online streaming of the games. Don't even try it at work (I tried for giggles today and was number 25,000 in line in the waiting room so I logged out) but at home, it was great last night to be able to watch two games at once and switch when it got boring (as most of the games did). It's totally free, not hard to watch at all and is easy to get into at night. Give it a try, if you can.

That's it for now...11:33pm and Raap and her two brains are fast asleep. I need to quit typing...I don't think she could sleep as I was yelling at Gonzaga to make a freakin' layup (they missed something like 346 layups against Indiana).

Cheers,
Reg

Killing Me Softly

So it's lunchtime and I'm taking this quick opportunity to lament the fact that this is the first time in eight years that I missed the opening tip of the first round.

While following the games online (not watching, mind you..."following"), I am still dying the slow "death by a thousand paper cuts" as I wonder what the sportsbooks in Vegas are doing right now. As I write this, I'm rest assured that half the book is yelling "don't shoot" and the other half is yelling "foul, foul". 30 seconds later, half the book is rejoicing, the other half contemplating new ways of doing oneself in, in a manner worthy of special news coverage (their road to 15 minutes of fame).

Coworkers walk by and laugh. They know this is killing me.

Maryland is killing my parlay right now.

Later,
Reg

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

American Idol?

Is it bad that I'm watching AI on my DVR right now instead of the play-in game?

Maybe it's the 8.5 that I had to give tonight.

Maybe it's the aversion to watching the cannon fodder bowl for Kansas (again, why does the 4 seed get the worst team in the tournament?)

Maybe it's the childhood crush I had on Paula Abdul.

Maybe I'm afraid to trail Raap already.

Whatever it is, the play-in game might be the dumbest idea of all time. So what if Illinois, Stanford, or Arkansas have to stay home (since both teams are conference champs)? What possible purpose on Earth could there be to put two bad teams against each other on a Tuesday night when everyone's waiting for Thursday? It's like the wild card round when the two best teams have byes, except in this case, 63 teams have byes. Is it the "don't keep score so everyone wins" scenario that they want to give one of these lower level teams a moment in the spotlight? But the spotlight needs to be shining and the only one shining now is from those of us who actually bet on the game.

Finally, While I understand what T-Dog said in his response about these mid-majors scrapping the posteason tournament, the upset bug in the postseason is too great to throw away the possibility that one of these no names could still make the Big Dance. That's the reason why they shouldn't expand the tournament. It makes the conference tourney games that much more important. The regular season is to determine seeding.

The thing that fixes all this is sending the message to the big schools that they have to play the better mid-majors during the year. I guarantee that if one of these 28-4 mid-majors beat an Illinois or Stanford and lose in their tournament, they will receive serious consideration. It has worked for Southern Illinois the past few years. Unfortunately, the Jim Boheims will moan and wail that they lost to the mid-majors but if you can't beat them, what makes you think you belong with the Tar Heels.

Or even the Iowas? Of course, they didn't even make the NIT meaning they are probably the first Big Ten team in history to have a .500 conference record and over .500 record and not make any postseason tournament.

It's a fate deserving of any team that loses to Northwestern State in the NCAA tournament after leading by 16.

Cheers,
Reg

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Finally--65 teams, 64 games

Those guys from Winthrop crack me up.

I DVR'd the selection show since I was busy watching the Wild take out the Avalanche once again at the X and the Winthrop guys have already mugged twice for the camera. Go to the ND locker room and they looked like they just found out their older sister was going to college locally and living at home. I smell an upset.

Things that make me warm and fuzzy?

1. Duke as a #6 seed.
2. Gonzaga beating Indiana in the first round. Again.
3. Dick Vitale's enthusiasm.
4. K-State being left out of the tournament. All that discussion on Saturday for nothing.

Things that make me want to poke out my eyes with a needle?
1. The annoying screeching noise every time a team was revealed on CBS (have they been watching FOX lately??)
2. The fact that they go to the trouble of ranking the #1 seeds 1 through 4 and then let the #4 seed play the winner of the play-in game. Huh? They need to go to bracket school because I thought the #1 overall seed was guaranteed playing the perceived "worst" team in the tourney. If that's Jackson State, they should be in the play-in game. End of story.
3. This is the fewest at-large bids for mid-majors over the past five years (10, 12, 9, 8, and 6). I finally agree with Seth Davis--it's bad for college basketball however, if they truly don't deserve it, they shouldn't get in.
4. When Billy Packer opens his mouth. (But then he likes Winthrop too! UGGGGGHHH!!!)
5. Butler and Old Dominion facing each other first round. Conspiracy theory??

Observations
1). Somebody's been giving Packer personality tips because he's been kissing mid-major butt this entire show. He loves Albany and pointed out their near miss against UConn in the first round last year. He challenged the NCAA selection chair on the fact that fewer mid-majors were in this year. And he was pretty much non-confrontational.

Will the alien who now possesses Billy Packer's body, please leave so I can have something to complain about?

2). I wouldn't want the selection chair's job for any amount of money in the world. If I did, I would have put Iowa, Iowa State, Minnesota, and UNI in the tournament just to create controversy.

3). Assistant Tournament Director Raap was doing report cards while I was watching the selection show and I caught her looking up several times. She plays this "innocent, I don't follow college ball and don't care who wins" card but, in reality, she's cagey.

4). Is there a way we can get Dicky V. on CBS to call the games on Thursday and Friday? At least he enjoys calling the games. At first, much like John Madden, it was a novelty act that was infectious at first but grew old after awhile. But then he didn't change, he didn't go away, he just kept at it and, at the same time, kept many people interested and excited about the games. Packer and Nantz call the games as if they've got something sharp in an uncomfortable place (and, at the same time, making us all feel the same way).

5). There's been more talk about expanding the tournament to more teams. I say no and the best argument I heard this weekend for it is that the conference tournaments are the extension of the Big Dance. Face it, everyone gets a chance in those conference tournaments--it was the only reason Iowa got in the tournament in 2001 by beating Indiana in the final.

Let's start the posts! What annoys you (other than my rants and diatribes)? Who is your favorite? Who is going to take the first shot at the Godfather?? (Not me---I know my place in the "family"). Who got left out?

The brackets are in your email...let the picks begin!

Cheers...
Reg

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Wolf!

No, it's not another comment from the so-called Yip dog (btw, Chewy can read and he's taking notes).

I spent my ride home from church (looking for some intervention to stop Raap's run) listening to the start of the 6pm show on ESPN radio, hoping to get word on whether or not the only big conference Cinderella, NC State, had turned the trick against Va Tech. Unfortunately, the idiots on the show spent the first 15 minutes talking about whether or not Kansas State and Bob Huggins deserved to go to the Dance.

First of all, Kansas State should stay home simply because they are associated with Bob Huggins. Second, this has probably been the most boring conference postseason in recent memory. With OSU/Wisc, Texas/Kansas, and Florida/Arkansas (ok, Arkansas is not the best team to face Florida in the SEC) matchups on Sunday, NC State has provided that underdog breath of fresh air in a mundane conference swing that had me concentrating more on work today than actually watching any of the games.

Anyway, now that the Wolfpack are one game away from repeating their run from 1983 (NC and Virgina in the conference tourney before beating Virginia and Houston on the way to a most improbably NCAA title) we can officially call this the Year of the Popping Bubble. With Butler, Nevada, and Xavier losing, a Wolfpack win against NC on Sunday (and it can happen--NC State already turned the trick once this year) will take four spots away from the undeserving mediocre mid-conference sitting large schools who whine every year that smaller schools get their spots by not playing anyone. Billy Packer's worst nightmare---small schools get more spots due to upsets in their own conferences.

Especially if NC State wins. Granted, this will switch a major with a major but NC State is the ultimate Cinderella. What, in a conference boasting NC and Duke, along with Va Tech and Maryland, NC State has traditionally been in the dregs of the conference. Almost a mid-major trapped in a large conference body.

Mark my words...if NC State wins tomorrow, Packer will lament that one of the major schools like Kansas State or Florida State should make it before Butler, Nevada or Xavier when, in reality, the reason they don't make it is they didn't do what NC State did.

Run the table.

Cheers until tomorrow.

Friday, March 9, 2007

The Starting Gun

The first post is always the most important.

Welcome to the blogging madness. I always vowed I would never do one of these because it's too damn trendy but after the rowdiness of the pool mob this past week, I find to be very necessary. As many people liked the emails as didn't so I figured we could set this up as a madness playground to keep us busy during the tournament. I fully intend to blog at least once each day tournament games are played and hope you'll follow and chime in.

Remember, anyone can come. Feel free to pass on the blog link, rules and brackets on to anyone who wants in. The more, the merri, uhhh, the richer I become. Assistant Tournament Director Raap needs some new maternity clothes!

I want to post the rules one more time in a permanent place so everyone in the pool has a place to refer to in case of disputes or alzheimer's. Lord knows there's enough 50-somethings in this crowd.

Rules
1. Entry fee is $5.
2. Points are 1 for the first round, 2 for the second, 3 for the third, 4 for each final four team, 5 for each finalist and 6 for the champion.
3. You must enter a pick on each line all the way to the champion. Any missing lines are automatic 0 points but you do not forfeit the following pick if one of those two teams is then picked to win the following round (example--Duke v. NC State--you don't pick that round, 0 points but you have Duke winning the game after that and they do, you get the points for that round).
4. Tiebreaker--pick the final score of the championship game. First tiebreaker is total points, second is winner's score, third is loser's score.
5. Payment can be sent to 9138 Kingsview Lane N, Maple Grove, MN 55369. Checks are welcome. Carlsonians can get their money to Tony Tripp who can get me the money over the weekend.