Getting Colder

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

I jumped out of bed.  The family is supposed to be gone, thus the reason I am sleeping in on this, my 50^th birthday.

“I hope you like chocolate truffle”

Standing to the side of the bed was Snowball, the nerd dog, complete with horn-rimmed glasses, pocket protector, and a store-bought birthday cake.  It read “Happy Birthday Friend”.

“No black balloons?  No old age jokes?”

“No sir…if I did that, you would reciprocate in a couple years.”  Funny, a “dog-years” joke.  I actually got it.  I laughed.

“Why is that funny?”

“Ummm…wasn’t that a joke?”

“No sir…how would that be funny?”

“You know, dogs age more rapidly than humans.  What would a dog’s age be in human years?  Nothing?”

“Nothing funny about it, sir.  Just stating the fact that respect is given and earned.  I don’t make fun of someone lest that person makes fun of me”

Uh-oh, the nerd dog was back in full force.

“Oh man, Snowy, lighten up.  And stop calling me sir!”

“Again, it is a term of respect.  Besides, you hold the keys to my food and shelter.”

“I understand.  You speak the truth, something your predecessor never understood.  Having said that, 

if you want us to get along, you need to loosen up a little.”

He wasn’t listening.  His glasses were buried in the internet.

“I think I have a new idea for picking games this year.”

“It doesn’t matter.  I’m just going random this year.  That meditation class is doing wonders.  I’m not even sure I care about Raap’s board any longer.”

“Raap?”

Geez, not him too.  “Raap—you know Raap—your other master.”  He blinked.  “Raap is code for 

‘Danielle’”

“Why do you call her Raap?  Why not just refer to as Danielle.”

He wasn’t going to get the joke.  I diverted.

“I’m intrigued about this new picking system.  Tell me more.”

“Not until we clear up the Raap situation.  I want to understand.”

He wasn’t going away. “Raap is Paar spelled backward.”  He blinked.

I jumped down the rabbit hole.  “The last name is Elleniad which is…”

“Danielle spelled backward.”

“Exactly!”

“I still don’t understand.”

“It’s a joke.  I was trying to be funny.”

He blinked.  He wasn’t getting it.  Ugh, how long does this have to go on?  I tried a different diversion.

“Chocolate truffle?  What bank did you rob?”

“I am not a bank robbe…uhh, that was another joke, wasn’t it?”

“Now you’re getting it.  Don’t be so literal.”

“Shall we eat?”

The cake looked tasty.  And I was hungry.  But that new system…

“You had an idea?”

“Cake first.  Then picks.  The chocolate truffle doesn’t last long outside of the fridge.”

I’m not going to last long if I don’t get a system soon.  Patience is a virtue.

I’m not necessarily virtuous.

TO BE CONTINUED