The Higher Power: A Hospital (Somewhere Near Tibet)

I had this feeling before.

Waking up in a strange place, head pounding, fuzzy vision, dry mouth.  But this was no hangover.

And it wasn't Vegas.

As I looked around the room, all I saw were bright lights (not helping the headache), sharp instruments (but if felt like my organs were still in place) and no liquid of any kind (at this point, I would have taken rubbing alcohol).

And no television.  There was a calendar on the wall.  I think it was Thursday.

Did I mention I wasn't in Vegas?

Head starting to hurt more...think, damn it, think.  What was the last thing I remembered?  As I looked down, I noticed the hospital gown.  It all became clearer (but not any less painful).  I was in a hospital.  Somewhere near Tibet.

Damn Higher Power.  What the hell was I thinking?  I am so obsessed with beating Raap and maybe even winning my own pool that I put my own life in danger.  And I'm 7,000 miles from my final destination.  Based on the lack of text messages from those I was meeting in Vegas, I wasn't exactly being missed either.

The good news was that I was not shackled to my hospital bed.  Good, I thought, at least I wasn't out of control when I was unconscious (unlike a time or two in Vegas).  I looked around the room and found my computer bag.  Computer still in tact--hmmm, and not freezing.  Maybe it's operational.

I booted up the computer and looked around--what does a brother have to do to get a television around here?  As the screen came up, I noticed a lone Excel spreadsheet on the desktop.  It read "NCAA 2013".  I don't remember that file.  I feared that file.  Especially since I couldn't remember that last 24 hours (way too many Vegas analogies, I was beginning to wonder if I wasn't actually there and dreaming this whole thing in my hotel room).  I opened the file.

It was definitely a NCAA bracket and based on my sent email, it was sent out to the whole pool.  Two Big Ten teams in the Final Four with Kansas winning the whole thing.  More homer picks with a Big 12 champion.  Just like last year.  I talked to a dog last year and it all imploded in the first round last year.  Damn dog.  The pain in my head was becoming unbearable.

Why did I make those picks?  Did someone drug me?  Was The Higher Power involved?  I grew frantic.  Where was the (*#@^^% television set?  I pushed the nurse button.  Then I started screaming.  Still no one was coming.  I got out of bed and looked out the window.  It was pitch black--the clock showed 1am.  Friday, not Thursday.  16-hour time difference between Tibet and Vegas and Tibet was ahead...which meant the games were starting.  I had to do something drastic.

I started putting on my clothes.  There had to be a sports bar in Tibet somewhere that was showing the games.  I mean, March Madness is everywhere, right?  As I tried to put a pant leg on, I got instantly dizzy and fell to the floor.  Hard.  As the room started to spin wildly, I noticed the door was opening.  Finally, some help!

(Outside my room and down the hall)

"Doctor, we have a situation in room 404"

"What's wrong?"

"Some guy we found on a plateau in the wilderness.  He just came to in his room and we found him on the floor of his room, ranting and raving about a 'Jayhawk' and demanding a television set.  What should we do?"

"Sounds a little mentally unstable.  Let's shackle him to the bed and call the psych ward--we probably should do a full psychiatric evaluation.  Seriously, who demands a television set in the middle of Tibet?"

*TO BE CONTINUED*

Peace,
Reg