Ripped From the Headlines

It is important in preparing for any pool, whether it be the NFL, college bowl games or March Madness, to be up to date on the current headlines.  I mean, if you're going to throw your money at something, you need to give yourself a fighting chance.  You never know what little tidbit of information could be the difference between money and mediocrity.  Obviously, since I have never won money in my own pool in 13 tries, I have been the definition of mediocrity.

So I resolved this year to change things.  I became more in touch with the Internet and all it has to offer (other than the obvious--get your mind out of the gutter for once).  I scoured websites for those very tidbits of information which would finally bring me to prosperity in the very monstrosity I created.

In doing so, I came across three stories I thought you might be interested in.  Read into these what you want but if we read the same things, you might just share in my wealth for Vegas Donation XIV.

BIG EAST MAKES A BIG DECISION
In a bizarre but not totally unexpected move, Big East Commissioner John Marinatto announced the conference is going to secede from the NCAA after the end of this year's tournament.

In explaining the move, Marinatto said "The Big East is a true power conference with mostly elite teams.  In 2009, we only had one team (West Virginia) in the Final Four.  We sent eight teams to the NCAA tournament last year and to only have one Final Four participant is simply unacceptable.  It's not the Big East way and it's obviously not what college basketball fans want."

To give the fans "what they want,"  Marinatto has a plan.  "By seceding from the NCAA and setting up our own tournament, we maximize our chances to have an all Big-East Final Four.  Under the current NCAA tournament format, too many obstacles stand in the way of our fine athletic institutions.  Each time one of them faces a non-Big East school, there is a chance they could lose--that the conference could lose.  The odds are not in our favor and that's not a gamble we are willing to make."

When asked if there would still be "interleague" play in 2011 between the two groups, Marinatto was evasive.  "I think we might be willing to play the occasional exhibition game against one of their better teams.  But to engage them in any kind of significant, meaningful competition would just legitimize an overall product that we view as inferior to the Big East.  Sure, these teams have beaten us in the past but if you play non-Big East teams enough times in one season, odds are pretty good that eventually someone will finally win."  When told that number was actually 41 in 2010 and 67 in 2009, Marinatto replied, "Whatever."

BYU REDUCED TO JIMMER PLUS FOUR
In an unfortunate turn of events, the remaining players on the BYU men's basketball team were suspended for the rest of the season by the school with one lone exception--star Jimmer Fredette.

In the wake of the suspension last week of their second-best player, Brandon Davies, the school determined a thorough investigation of the rest of the team was necessary in order to both restore the school's reputation and to prove the Davies transgression was an isolated one.  They got much more than they bargained for almost immediately after the investigation began.

Each player had committed some violation of the BYU Honor Code.  Lipton iced tea, Folgers, Milwaukee's Best, and Marlboro Lites were just some of the iterations of the forbidden substances found in the team dorm.  When one player who had not yet been suspended was informed of his teammates transgressions, he was quoted as exclaiming "Well that really sucks!" and he was promptly suspended.  Another unnamed player missed church services when a small, undetected fire in the attic of his dorm knocked out the power and, as a result, shutdown his alarm clock before he was to get up for the service.  A BYU official was quoted as saying "We just can't make any exceptions--if we make an exception, it could escalate to something worse like the students protesting the food in the lunchroom and we just can't submit to that kind of free thinking."

Fredette, however, was found to be "clean" by the investigation.  He has turned down repeated attempts by Lance Armstrong to help advise him through the investigation but strangely was seen talking to Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel.  Tressel later scolded inquiring reporters when they asked whether he believed Fredette was clean.  "Do you really think I would tell you if I knew?"

Desperate to still play in the NCAA Tournament later this month, Fredette has recruited several intramural players to make the trip to wherever BYU's first round game is played.  When asked what changes he will have to make to accommodate the personnel changes, BYU Head Coach Dave Rose said "None...the game plan is still the same.  Get the ball to Jimmer and get out of the way." Rose added "Of course, someone will have to be around to catch the occasional wayward rebound or stand in front of the basket.  Ya know, Jimmer can't do everything."

K-STATE COACH MARTIN LANDS STARRING ROLE
Kansas State Coach Frank Martin was selected to play the lead role in a new Broadway play based on the life of Helen Keller.  Martin, who has no previous acting experience, was set to go to New York immediately following the Wildcats final postseason game but will be working with a voice and acting coach over the course of the next couple weeks as Kansas State wraps up the basketball season.

Martin's reaction was as expected.  "I AM HONORED AND FEEL VERY PRIVILEGED TO HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PORTRAY THIS HISTORICAL FIGURE.  I WILL WORK HARD IN PRACTICE AND TRAINING TO HONE AND IMPROVE MY SKILLS SO AS TO PROVIDE A MEANINGFUL AND MEMORABLE PERFORMANCE" he calmly shouted. 

In a related story, Martin's first voice and acting coach, Drusilla Bonty, died suddenly of a heart attack shortly after her first session with Martin.  There was no word on her replacement.

Hope these stories help...good luck in the pool!

Peace,
Reg