A Continuing Story...

This blog brought to you by Raap Elleinad. Raap Elleinad, for all the times you need to be humbled in two weeks or less. Guaranteed to work four out of every five years. Money back if you are not completely humiliated before the Final Four.

"Artie?"

The voice sounded like an annoying mosquito that wouldn't go away.

"Artie!"

I typed the results furiously into the computer, knowing I only had seconds to spare.

"ARTIE!!!!"

Take Two (Or Give 9 If You Picked Louisville)

This blog brought to by Tripp's Wife. Tripp's Wife, for the times when you really want to watch college basketball and you need someone to remind you it's dinner time.

**Good start to both games. Finally, a #1 playing like a #1....Oklahoma is slowing it down and being effective.

**So much for slow being effective...the problem is "slow" doesn't get you ahead by enough to prevent a comeback. Sooners all of a sudden look bad--did Memphis just show up?

**Syracuse just doesn't have the flash they have had lately. If Oklahoma stays steady and doesn't let up again, they should win this. Tripp, are you done with dinner yet?

And they're off...

This blog brought to you by anyone who can understand what goes on in my mind. As soon as that person is identified, I'll collect the sponsorship money.

We'll we're off and UConn/Purdue appears to be the game of choice (not that anyone of us without Direct TV or a direct flight to Vegas had a choice). UConn is already covering the spread which is nice (if you into that thing for entertainment purposes).

If any one is actually reading this, I'll be making random sarcastic remarks all night. Feel free to comment and keep refreshing for updates.

Does Purdue really deserve to be here?

**Second tv timeout and UConn is getting bored. Purdue is shooting 3-pointers like there's 30 seconds left and they're down 6. Fortunately, none of that is happening.

**Watching the Xavier/Pitt score in the corner reminds me of watching college football in Iowa City at my brother's house when he was in college and we'd switch to Headline News for the sports report every :20 and :40 of the hour---and even those were not close to real time updates.

**Speaking of Pitt...isn't a little early for them to be bored?

**Purdue is lucky to be this close at half. UConn seriously looks like they could just turn it on at any point and win by 20

**Oh great, the DVR is getting ready to start taping two shows at once which means I have to switch to watching the games on-line. Earl and American Idol--I'm sure this crowd isn't into either one.

**Pitt is in danger of losing respect as a serious basketball team with this performance but if that happens, they'll end up pulling a "Memphis" and making the title game next year.

**Pitt redeems but doesn't cover the spread...that'll teach me for picking them yet again. Teaser still to go with Nova and Memphis. Memphis will screw me...trust me. And yes, Marty, I do like Earl. What you do watch? American's Next Top Model?

**For the record, I am watching The Office right now...did you know American arrogance got us into WWII? (copyright, Dwight).

**It is actually entertaining watching Raap freak out about the games. She's so nervous, she can barely stand to watch--funny thing is when she does watch, she's not sure what she's watching.

**There is only one thing better than watching Duke lose---and that team plays Gonzaga tomorrow night.

**Memphis goes down 10 towards the half. Raap starts softly sobbing (wonder what the second brain is doing).

**Raap finally asleep...she couldn't take any more. Villanova had a decent first half...a better second should put Duke away. Memphis is doing what Memphis does best...playing the pretender.

**Memphis needs to get out of Conference USA. They need to be better "battle-tested" by the time they get to the Dance. They just said their last loss was against Syracuse many moons ago which means that was the last time they played a team of any substance.

**Two best games tomorrow night and the Twin Cities gets neither. Oklahoma/Syracuse and Gonzaga/NC are far more interesting than Louisville/Arizona (double-digit blowout for sure) and Kansas versus the last Big Ten team, Michigan St. Seriously, I need Direct TV.

**This Duke game is ridiculous--Villanova is outhustling, out running and out "poising" them. Duke is usually the well-coached, cool as a cucumber squad but Villanova is outclassing thema s of the 11 minute mark.

**Maybe Memphis can make free throws to get back in it...that iron thud you heard was my comment getting shot down by a brick

**I can't believe Laettner is still making money off that shot. He was arrogant when he was with the Wolves calling every one of his teammates a loser to a newspaper reporter. Nothing has changed, trust me.

**Missouri wraps their 15 minutes in the sun--UConn will end it Saturday. I still can't get over Nova's pummeling of Duke...is it fair for me to be this happy over the misfortunes of others?

I Learned Something Today

This blog brought to you by the Timeout. The Timeout, for all the times someone drives uncontested for a layup to give their team a 2-point lead with .9 seconds left and you kind of want to set up a play to try and win it instead of heaving a one-handed 75-foot bomb the length of the court at the buzzer. The Timeout can be found any time a referee actually looks at you or hears you ask (also available at Piggly-Wiggly and Sam's Club--also comes in the Chris Webber technical size).

What did we learn this weekend?

1). Arizona is the lone double-digit seed in the Sweet 16--Is Cinderella dead?

Nope, just sleeping. Did everyone forget that two former Cinderellas, Xavier and Gonzaga, are in the Sweet 16? But since they have established major programs in the past five years, they are no longer considered the underdog. Much like it was inevitable that all #1 seeds would make the Final Four, it's inevitable that an underdog doesn't make the Sweet 16. You can't count Arizona because, much like Kentucky missing this year's Dance after 17 straight years, the "other" Wildcats are a failing program who will not even guarantee the current "interim" coach a permanent spot. This last hurrah is all part of the script. Besides, despite the lack of upsets, there were some pretty damn good games in the first two rounds, albeit ending in favor of the favorites. And Cleveland State, who only made the tournament by upsetting Butler in the championship of the Horizon League tournament beat West Virginia handily in the first round. Cinderella lives--she's just waiting until next year.

2). #1 seeds look shaky in opening round--a sign of vulnerability?

Normally, I would say no. Typically the #1's get bored pretty easily playing the dregs of the mid-majors and that coupled with a super size effort from a team with a lot of heart and nothing to lose makes for an interesting time in the first round. But Pittsburgh looked shaky against East Tennessee State right after losing early in the Big East tournament to the same West Virginia team who was upended by the ever dangerous Dayton Flyers in the first round of the tournament. Even though Oklahoma State "gave them a scare" in the second round, Okie State hasn't exactly set the world on fire this year. Forget their Big 12 tourney win against Oklahoma. Florida State beat North Carolina in the ACC tournament and that meant nothing when faced with the menacing Badgers from Wisconsin. The moral of the story? Pittsburgh goes down to Xavier on Thursday.

3). Duke and North Carolina make it to the Sweet 16. Again. Yaawwwnnnn!

And Villanova and Gonzaga await. At least one of the ESPN love children will fall in the Sweet 16. Let's pray to the gypsy piss hex god that it's both.

4). Raap Elleinad is in third after two rounds of the pool.

Let the suicide watch commence!

5). Timeout? What timeout?

By now, everyone knows the story. Gonzaga scores an uncontested layup with .9 seconds left on Saturday night, the coach and at least one player from Western Kentucky called for a timeout but the Hilltoppers inbounded the ball anyway and the 75-foot prayer was off the mark. Did Western Kentucky get screwed by the refs on Saturday night? Who cares? What that less than a second solidified was the undisciplined play that WK has shown in the tournament the last two years. In a last second OT win against Drake last year, WK won with a hail mary 3 off a last second inbound but had blown a 16-point lead late in the game that led to OT. In their win against Illinois in the first round, again with game in hand late, they blew a 15-point lead with 3:27 left and held on for the 4-point win. Yes, this is a sign of resiliency that they could hang on after blowing leads in the NCAA tournament. But undisciplined teams are most vulnerable to blowing these leads--and undisciplined teams do not think about leaving the basketball on the end line in the last second of the game to give their coach a chance to call the timeout.

Unless they're really, really good at 75-foot jumpers.

Peace,

Reg

Twas the Night Before Madness

This blog brought to you by Jay Bilas. Jay Bilas, great for when you need an ill-informed blowhard ex-Dukie to back-up your overrated major against a more deserving mid-major using bad logic.

T'was the night before Madness
And all through the house
There was myriad snoring
The second head and the spouse

The television was on
The NIT playing loud
I was watching the Hoyas
Do the betting line proud

My brackets not done
Not sure what to do
I reach in the fridge
For another fresh brew

Back in control
Things coming in view
I just can't bet again
On the Zags and their Few

The Pac 10, the Big 10
I like them the least
Could it really end up the
Final Four's the Big East?

UConn might do it
And possibly Pitt
But a team like the Sooners
Is there a better fit?

I'm distracted by noise
from the HD I look south
and start wishing Jay Bilas
would just shut his mouth

Which reminds me of why
I want to gag and to puke
every time I consider
either Carolina or Duke

Too many upsets
I'm guessing too much
My wife, daughter and dog
I'm going to lose to the bunch

I'm starting to panic
I'm losing my psych
Is this really what
Turning 40 feels like

Deep breaths start to come
I'm starting to pull through it
With enough time to finish
Just before I get lit

The last lines are done
My national champ has been added
The games are tomorrow
My walls should be padded

To my knees I fall down
And invoking God's name
I pray like hell Northern Iowa
wins just one game

And "Yes" I exclaimed
Er I finished the beer
It just doesn't matter
There's always next year

Peace,
Reg

A Strange Night

This blog brought to you by the Big Ten. The Big Ten, for when you need a collective bunch of overrated basketball teams to entertain at your next party.

Saturday night was another quiet night in the Paar household. Madness Eve in our house usually is. Until…

“Dad?”

I looked around the room but no one was stirring (I know, I know, a different story but work with me here). At first, I thought the second brain had figured out how to communicate from the womb but all I heard were the docile tones of snoring coming from that direction. I looked for the dog.

“Chewy?”

“Dad? It’s me, Izzy”

The monitor was talking to me. I looked at my beer. 5.9% alcohol by volume. Too weak for it to be another consumption-induced hallucination.

“Can you come up here for a second?”

Assuming the noise was actually from a human and not an evil machine plot to lure me into a dark room upstairs, I headed for Izzy’s room. Keep in mind it was midnight.

“DAD!”

I opened the door to see my daughter yelling for me at the top of her lungs.

“Shhh…do you want to wake your mother?”

“ Are you kidding, Dad? That snoring is about as good as my noise machine. Mom can’t hear me above all that…but you might want to disconnect the machine in case she wakes up.”

Still stunned that my 18-month old was talking…and giving me work direction, I started to unplug the monitor but I stopped.

“Wait a minute. Your nephews aren’t hiding in the closet are they?

“Dad, enough with the Children of the Corn references. It was just a movie.”

I unplugged the monitor. My daughter was scolding me. And I left my beer downstairs. Did I mention it was midnight?

“Dad, you have to help me. You can’t let Mom make my picks for me this year. “

“That’s what this is about?”

“Mom made my picks for me last year and I finished dead last in the pool last year. LAST! You don’t know what this last year has been like for me. Target has been the worst! Every time Mom wheels me by a cart, the other kids snicker at me.”

“I’ve never seen that before. In fact, your Mom’s never mentioned it. How do you know they are snickering at you?”

“Dad, neither you nor Mom even knew I could talk before now. You’re hardly an authority on things you have or have not seen.”

“Good point. But maybe your Mom just had an off year. She has beaten me three of the last four years.”

“Dad, you have to be kidding. Last week during the Missouri Valley Championship game, the announcer said one of the players was cold and Mom asked you why they didn’t turn the heat up in the building.”

“That still doesn’t answer why you want me to do it, especially since I haven’t exactly been stellar with my picks? Why can’t you just make the picks yourself since you are obviously somewhat self-sufficient?”

“You know how this works, Dad. I’m the baby. I’m not supposed to know how to do any of this yet. The reason I keep throwing my arms up in the air when you say ‘Go Vikes’ or ‘Touchdown’ is because I’ve been trying to send you a secret signal. I’ve been planning this since April of last year. Occasionally, I smack Chewy and get into the pans in the kitchen to keep the ruse up. Besides, you’re only the accomplice--I’m making my own picks. Ok, so here’s the plan—I want Duke to win it all.”

“First of all, if I’m going to do this for you, I refuse to put Duke to the Final Four. Second, there’s the whole problem of the $5 entry fee. If you can talk, you can come up with the dough”

“Are we negotiating now?”

“Always.”

Izzy smiled. “ Ok, I’ll steal $5 out of Grandma’s purse next week when she’s not looking. And I’ll give up Duke. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you write Northern Iowa on any line outside the first round on a bracket with my name on it. And I mean my real name. Not that “Yzzi” garbage you came up with after I was born.”

“Hey, I like the Yzzi shtick”

“Yeah, Dad,--it’s about as funny as calling Mom ‘Raap’. You’re the only one who thinks it’s even the slightest bit humorous.”

“Do you want Mom to make your picks?”

“Ok, Dad--It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in print.”

“That’s better.”

“Now, do not put more than two mid-major teams into the second round. And for God’s sake, do not put any of them to the Sweet 16”

“Why not?”

“When is the last time someone picked a mid-major to the Sweet 16 and won the pool?”

“You have obviously done your homework.”

“This is serious. You and Mom can have your little rivalry—neither of you is going to be a threat. But I want to win. No one has ever gone worst to first in the pool. Not even an 18-month old. I want to make pool history.”

“Anything else?”

“Do not let any Big Ten teams past the first round. And if the Gophers are lucky enough to make it, do not let them past the first round. I can’t believe this state thinks they deserve to be in it. They are going to back in just like all the other Minnesota sports teams.”

“Lay off the Vikings, Izzy.”

“Sorry Dad. I know it has been painful for you. I’ve only been alive for two seasons and I’m about ready to take the gas pipe.”

“A chip off the old block. Ok, Champ, I think I have a good idea of what you want. It’s time for you to go back to bed. “

“Last request—please don’t tell Mom I can talk. I need this to continue at least until I’m 3 or 4.”

“Are we negotiating?”

What do you call 6 OT's? A good start...

This blog brought to by Butler. Butler--for all those times you need an underachieving mid-major and get tired of resorting to Gonzaga.

Needles to say, the conference tournaments so far have been incredible. 6 OT's, Oklahoma, Kansas, Pittsburgh, and Connecticut all losing in the Quarterfinals of their conference tournaments. North Carolina with a near miss (damn Hokies) and Cleveland State invoking memories of the mouse with an upset win over Butler in their conference champion. You might remember the Vikings--as a #14 in '86, they beat #3 Indiana and #6 St. Joe's (yes, they used to be good) before losing to #7 Navy in the sweet 16. Navy, you say? Yes, the same Navy that had Admiral David Robinson at the helm.

If you take away the Gophers win against Louisville, there is no way they make the NCAA tournament. It is going to be an absolute joke if the Big 10 sends 8 teams. If you forced their top 8 to play one game each against the top 8 from the Big East, the Big East would win at least 50 of those games. If the Gophers played each of the top non-qualifying mid-major schools (St. Mary's, Creighton, Illinois State, Davidson, Niagara, Weber State), I'd say they go 3-3 at best if not 2-4. Penn State being blown out right now might be their only saving grace. Jesus' committee does not like blow out losses by bubble teams in the conference tournament. Just ask Creighton.

Speaking of which, your Bracketologist, Joe Lunardi has Creighton in the tournament when they were blown out by an obviously better Illinois State team. In fact, ISU (the REAL ISU, not the phony school in Ames) beat Creighton twice by 20+ points and lost by only 4 on the road. Couple that with 3 tough losses to conference regular season and tournament champion UNI by a total of 9 points, 2 games in OT--no reason they are not considered the #2 team in the MVC.

Could Baylor burst someone's bubble? Could that help the Gophers make the NIT?

A big 12 tournament final without Texas, Kansas or Oklahoma? The only thing better is a Big East final without Georgetown, UConn, and Pitt or an ACC final without NC or Duke.

UConn was up 6 twice in the first three OT's. Why do I know this? I had UConn minus 5 1/2.

Syracuse started their game against West Virgina tonight as 6 1/2 point underdogs. Why does Vegas put too much weight on tired legs? These are college kids with nothing better to do than play basketball (you don't think they actually go to class, do you?). The fatigue factor is overrated--it's not like they're a bunch of baseball players who smoke in the clubhouse between innings.

Questions for you...

1). Your bubble pick team to make it? Not make it?
2). Do you have an "Illinois State" who is on no one's radar but you think will make the final 65?
3). Does Memphis deserve a #1 seed when they play in a conference with no viable runner-up and their only "meaningful" games during the year were losses against Syracuse, Georgetown and Xavier (I'm not even going to count the Gonzaga game--if you saw the game, you know Gonzaga didn't even show up).
4). Are Shamrock shakes the greatest delicacy ever?
5). When it comes to stewed prunes, is three enough--are four too many?

Peace,
Reg

A Panther Growl Starts the Engines

This blog brought to you by Northern Iowa. Northern Iowa, for all the times your Big 10 and Big 12 schools fail to play like a Division I program and you want one Iowa team in the tournament. From the makers of the circa 2007 Drake Bulldogs.

Sorry, I had to take on advertisers to cover costs. Good news though...no popups.

Thoughts from the weekend...

1). Jay Bilas committed the cardinal sin of sportscasting Saturday night when he looked directly at one of the ESPN commentators before the Louisville-West Virginia showdown and stated that it probably will never happen that a 16 would beat a 1. Pay no attention to the fact that the commentator (I can't remember his name now) made the very salient point that he was tired of the fascination over #1 seeds because the difference between a #1 and #2 was minimal and the second round would be a tough game regardless. Bilas' point was that #1 was important because and implied with his comment that a #1 would never lose.

When are these talking heads (as opposed to a typing head like myself) going to realize that making the "brash statement" is not a quick road to recognition in the sports world? If anything, it can be a career killer if enough people notice and, um, I don't know, a 16 beats a 1 this year? If every 16/1 matchup was a 40 point blow out, I could understand. Unfortunately for Bilas' logic teacher, that hasn't been the case. There have been five 16 seeds who have come within five points of beating the #1 seed, two of them lost by 2 points and one, Princeton, lost to Georgetown by 1 in 1989. Three of the #1 seeds were Big 10 teams. 5 out of a 100 teams or 5%. Better odds than lightning or the lottery. (Or my brother Chris winning the pool).

The lesson here Jay is that as long as mediocre teams from the Big 10 are handed the #1 seed and the mid-majors are given no respect, it WILL happen. But instead of doing his homework and speaking from a position of strength, Mr. Bilas chose to throw out a statement that would make him look bad if the networks didn't protect their talking heads by refusing to revisit these comments in spirit of debate and discussion. Thus, the Jay Bilas and Seth Davises of the world are allowed to throw out a half dozen outrageous statements and when one sticks, they are brilliant. Speaking of which...

2). Seth Davis had a comment in SI a few weeks ago as follows

"The Big East is eating its own. Through Sunday, Georgetown, Notre Dame and Syracuse, which were all ranked in the Top 10 at some point this season, had lost a combined 17 of their last 19 games and are in danger of missing the NCAA tournament."

Once again a major conference is benefiting from circular reasoning to get an inordinate amount of press or consideration for a bid with a mediocre record. The above comment infers that if the Big East wasn't so good, former top 10 teams like Georgetown, ND, and Syracuse would not have lost so many games lately. While I do believe the Big East is a tough conference this year, the misfortunes of those three teams are tied more to their severe underachievement than anything their conference foes have wrought. Add Marquette to that list as well.

Now, because of thinking like that spewed by Seth above, Georgetown is actually still getting bubble consideration despite a horrible second half of the season. If you are worthy to be a team in a major conference and make NCAA tournament, you have to consistently beat the teams in your conference with occassional losses. You should not be able to get in the tournament by gaining a couple quality wins early and then coasting through the second half of the season by losing to everyone in your conference. Meanwhile, mid-majors who can not get the big schools on their schedules are limited to one team--the conference champ. Anyone who saw the Illinois State/UNI game today knows that Illinois State deserves to go as they might be the most athletic and dangerous mid-major out there.

My solution? Instead of making up the fictitious "BracketBusters" weekend every year with pre-scheduled games, force every school in Division I to have an open weekend where two games will be played during a Thursday to Sunday span. Keep the weekend in mid-February so enough games take place to determine appropriate match-ups (that is, equally matched mid-majors and majors). A week before the games, have a selection committee agree on two Bracket buster games for each team, every game pitting one major against one mid-major team. Even the bad teams can match up against each other. Every team gets one home game and one road game or, better yet, make them neutral regional sites where four or eight teams would play both games at the same seat against two of the other seven teams.

Sure logistically this would be more work but with all the money the NCAA makes on March Madness, I think they could come up with a viable solution and then market the hell out of it so it becomes yet another money maker.

And then maybe we'll have a little more concrete evidence to assist the tournament committee in March.

Peace,
Reg