Monday, February 27, 2012

15 Years of Madness?

In honor of the first blog entry of the 15th year of my version of March Madness, I thought I would take a look at this time of year through one of the most quotable movies of our time, Caddyshack.  How does a golf movie relate to the craziest time of the year?  Oh, you have no idea...

"What's that sign say?"
"No bare feet"
"What's THAT sign say?"
"No fighting."
"What's it mean?"
"No fighting."

The quote appears simplistic.  By itself, without an actor's inflection (played brilliantly by Brian Doyle-Murray, Bill's older brother), it doesn't make much sense.  Seen in the movie in relation to D'Annunzio's younger brother, it makes perfect sense.  Even if he was being a smart ass with his response about what he originally thought the sign said, he is making a point.

Teams like Minnesota and Northwestern are content to live the simplistic basketball life.  Win just enough games to stay "bubble-relevant" and then win one big game in the conference tournament to either make the Dance or have a talking point for television post-selection show ranting about why they got screwed.  It's like pretending the sign only says "no bare feet" and being proud of the fact that you are wearing shoes even though you know the rest of the words on the sign are important--you just can't be bothered to take the additional time to figure them out.

Northwestern is one of the last major conference Division I teams to never make the tournament.  The past couple years, they pound on lesser teams early (see also: Gopher football, the Mason years) appear to be a lock for the tournament and then disappear at Big Ten time.   Their only win of substance was over Michigan State.

Minnesota peforms a similar ritual except they manage a big win come Big Ten tourney time and, once again, the regular season becomes irrelevant and the conference tournament carries way too much weight.  Their only big win this year was Indiana on the road when the Hoosiers were the hottest team in the nation and they have since nullified that with their most recent putrid performance at home.  Otherwise, a sweep by Iowa and a blown chance at home against Michigan State leave them hanging in purgatory yet again.

When the two teams met, it was considered a "bubble play-in" game.  Northwestern won and, as of 2/24, they are one of Bracketology's last teams in.  Does anyone really believe either team deserves a bid for their mediocrity?  Does Northwestern really want their first trip to be by default?  And, as a homer, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that with all the Hawkeyes' bad losses, Iowa still has five wins over top 25 teams this year.  The difference is that the bad losses are expected because Iowa's expectations were low.  On the other hand, Minnesota and Northwestern have probably been a part of the high expectation conversation for way too long because at some point you either win relevant games or the high expectations are unfounded.  It's gotten so bad for the Gophers, I actually think they took their shoes off.

What's THAT sign say?

"Mr. Havercamp.  Your ball is right over there, sir.  No, Mr. Havercamp.  The green's right over there, sir."

Jim Calhoun has been through hell.

And I'm not just talking about the sanctions the team has faced recently (including for, of all things, poor academic performance).  The 69-year old head coach of the reigning national champs is on his third hiatus from the team for a serious health consideration.  The first two were cancer-related (prostate and skin).  The latest is said to be a very painful spinal condition (spinal stenosis) which can basically incapcitate an otherwise healthy individual, much less a pushing 70, stressed out college coach with a history of poor health.

Calhoun has three national championships.  He has won a NIT title (who doesn't want that distinction).  He has been named to the Basketball Hall of Fame (2005) and the College Basketball Hall of Fame (2006).  In 2009, Calhoun signed a contract that will pay him in excess of $3m a year until 2014.  All this begs the question...

Why?  Of all people, I understand the need for competition in someone's life.  And I realize for some that sports is their life.  The Joe Paterno plan says you coach until you die (and there is a school of thought that you start dying as soon as you stop coaching).  But is it really worth it to keep on when you are obviously in some form of permanent poor health?  Is the coaching helping him cope with his health issues?  Or is the coaching contributing to the poor health?

Mr. Havercamp might want to reconsider how he plans to spend his septuagenarian years.  He just might start losing track of the ball and the hole at which point the decision will not be his.

It will be UConn's.

And finally, we have "Bracketbusters."  Bracketbusters weekend reminds me of Caddy Day at the Bushwood CC pool in the movie Caddyshack.  They only granted the caddies 15 minutes for their "day" because even though there were a few good caddies, the rest were so bad, it only took 10 minutes for them to wreak havoc in the pool (DOODY!!!).

I suspect the Bushwood-types of the NCAA see these mid-majors as nothing more than caddies invading their posh swimming pool.  They grant them the television exposure one weekend a year (Caddy Day) and make them play each other so they don't get in the way of the super conferences beating up on each other every weekend and then raise even more questions to why 8-10 teams get in despite their mediocrity.  Can you imagine if the fringe teams in the super conferences had to play caddies like Wichita State or Davidson (who already took out Kansas this year) during not one but two Bracketbuster weekend?

I go back to my original suggestion--give every Division I team a "home and home opening" in their schedule and use two February Saturdays to have major bubble teams play mid-majors.  The top 25 or 30 can random draw regional games against each other.  The lesser teams can do the same.  ESPN can use half the energy they have on Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin and turn it into a media circus.  Hell, if you need a catch phrase for it, call it Caddy Day(s).

But Bushwood will never do it.

The Caddies just might win.

Peace,
Reg

2 comments:

RaiderTripp said...

Septuagenarian?! You forgot 'Some people just don't belong' with the selection committee's aversion to bypassing mid-majors for their country club buddies in the ACC and Big East.

Reggie said...

Testing...testing...