Letters, we get letters...

As organizer, judge, jury, and executioner of the Vegas Donation Extravaganza, I receive numerous letters from participants and innocent bystanders alike. Due to my busy schedule (Yzzi's beautiful but she's a handful when she's not picking Ducks and Bunnies to the Final Four), I don't always have the time necessary to do my responses justice so I thought I'd take this last NCAA blog entry to respond to some of the more intriguing questions. With apologies to Dr. Dan, here we go.

Q--In your experience is there one person who is consistently in the mix year in and year out? E. Els, South Africa

A--While I don't have the mental capcity due to my old age to recollect who makes the top 10 on a consistent basis, a few names always seem to have a place somewhere in the top 10 at various times during any given tournament. The one name that sticks out as TGPTHNWAM (The Greatest Player To Have Never Won A Madness) is my brother, Chris Paar. Lawyer Boy has finished second twice and several other times was either in the top 5 or had a chance to finish second and lost the championship game. Maybe if he stopped having kids and took a break from chasing emergency vehicles, he could get over the hump. Until then, I get to listen to how poor the payout is for second place every year.

Q--Are you ever going to automate this pool?
T. Denney, Minneapolis

A--Automating the pool is akin to passing the seatbelt law. The seatbelt law was put in place to protect you from yourself. Not wearing your seatbelt is a victimless crime unless you crash and become the victim. Mr. Denney, as well as others over the years, have suffered from not wearing their seatbelts and have crashed filling out their brackets. Automating the pool is akin to saving you from yourself with the bells and whistles to protect you from picking or not picking the wrong team. Some pools even have capsules next to each team extolling the virtues of why you should pick that team or not pick that team. I think I'm at the point now where I'm purposely not automating the pool because I'm not interested in providing you a "seatbelt." Hell, my mother-in-law can figure out where to go to research the games and NEVER makes a mistake with her picks. If she can do it...so can you.

Q--What is your obsession with blasting so-called "street ball" teams?
I. J. J. J. Rider, San Quentin

A--It's not an obsession--it's actually just disappointment. I'm a big fundamentals guy. Hoosiers is one of my favorite movies because it embodies the very philosophy that some of the best coaches in any sport employ. You need to dribble first to crossover. You need to play defense in order to get the ball and then you need to pass first to shoot. And I haven't even mentioned free throws yet. Same spot. Uncontested. Easiest shot in basketball. And it cost Memphis the championship on Monday. A championship richly deserved until they started choking with 2 mintues to go.

Q--Who is Lothar?
D. Green, High Road

A--King of the Hill People. Walks with women. Saturday Night Live. Mike Myers. If my Dad would watch the skit again, he'd know that Lothar had an issue once because women would not walk with him. I don't remember why. I don't care.

Q--Did you tank Yzzi's pool pick to get the last place prize?
G. Taylor, Minneapolis

A--She's seven months old. Her mother helped her. You do the math.

Q--Were you seriously on suicide watch last night?
R. Elleinad, Maple Grove

A--For the record, I don't like to lose. Frankly, if you're going to be in a pool, you need to be prepared to lose since you have less than a 5% chance to finish in the money. It's not fun losing to someone who doesn't follow it, doesn't care about it, and would rather be sleeping than watching a game like the Memphis/Kansas classic Monday night. Losing to her Year 1, I was livid. Year 2, it became comical. After last year, it taught me the lesson that much like playing video poker, I have no control over any of this--I can save certain cards and put myself in a position to win certain hands but I still have to push the button and the machine still gets to decide if it's my time. However, that doesn't stop me from being competitive with the machines. Which is not rational since they are machines running a process with preprogrammed odds. I handle losing to Raap the same way I handle losing in Vegas.

One beer at a time.

Have a great summer everyone!

Peace,

Reg

PS--I will most likely have at least a weekly post for the baseball season. Feel free to stop by and post comments as you see fit.