A New Beginning?

Another late weekend night in the Paar household.

Raap had already retired to the upstairs bedroom anticipating another long night of Etan's false starts to the next day. Yzzi had a pillow firmly placed over her ears trying to stave off the first one.

I, on the other hand, was once again firmly entrenched in my seat in front of the big screen trying to find another late night movie rerun without "Rocky" or "Terminator" in title. Is it really that hard to rotate these things a little more often? I mean, how many movies have been made since Sylvester Stallone uttered their his last coherent sentence.

And let's not forget about the frosty beverages. Who says alcohol can't help you forget your problems? The feeling of dread I have had about this year's March Madness pool was quickly melting away with each bottle bottom. I started this pool for fun 15 years ago and for half of that I have been tormented by Raap's conversion of apathy into six victories over me that are topped only by the fact that my lone win was the result of a historic national title game choke by Memphis and her own inability to pick a respectable tiebreaker score. Only an idiot would believe I wasn't in for much of the same in 2012.

Should I quit the pool? Was it really fun any more? Seriously, how does she keep doing this when she doesn't watch the games? Hell, she doesn't even understand most of the rules which makes watching the games with her that much more painful. All of these questions swirled around my head but I was becoming strangely serene with each swig from the bottle.

At that moment, Chewy came over and jumped up on his hind legs, resting his front paws on the recliner. This pose has typically resulted in me sharing whatever chocolate or jelly beans I might be in possession of at the time. But this was not a pose.

"What are you doing?"

Huh? Did he just say something? I watched his mouth this time, keeping in mind that I had a pretty good buzz going.

"What are you staring at? I asked you a question."

His mouth moved. I just saw it. And it wasn't a bark--it was actual words he was speaking. I was too stunned to say anything.

"Well, since you are too stunned to say anything, I'll do the talking. I know exactly what you are doing right now--you are feeling sorry for yourself because the real master of the house has figured out how to beat you at your own game without trying. And that bothers you...because there is no reason for it and you always need a reason."

I wasn't sure what was more shocking--that my dog was talking to me or that he was making profound sense.

"But what you don't understand is that you don't need a reason this time. You need a plan. And I'm going to be the author of that plan. I will be the teacher. You will be the student. No negotiations. No bartering. You do it my way or you lose again, still without your reason, and sink even further into this Madness spiral you have created in the past seven years."

He didn't wait for a response but jumped up on the couch, grabbed the remote and changed the channel to Animal Planet.

"Get me a beer--I have a lot more to say. And you better be listening, if you want things to be different this year."

As I contemplated my next step, I heard a faraway voice that soon became Raap waking me up on the couch.

"You slept down here all night? Thanks a lot for the help with Etan last night."

As I struggled for an apology, I saw Chewy lift his head and look at me with a blank stare.

*TO BE CONTINUED*